What? I didn’t tell you that I’m continuing my brokey series? Well, I am. For at least two more weeks. So there.

So people are coming over and you’re out of money.
You will need to feed and libate them (libate? can that be a verb please?) but you don’t have cash.

Here are two recipe ideas that are significantly cheaper than prepared foods. Please use store-brand cream cheese. It’s fine here because it’s mixed in with plenty of other ingredients and the texture doesn’t matter too much.

Brokey Stuffed Mushroom Recipe

Ingredients
12 whole mushrooms that you have wiped clean
1 tablespoon vegetable/olive oil
3 cloves worth of minced garlic
1 8 oz. package cream cheese that’s been left out for an hour or two
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne

Directions
Heat oven to 350° fahrenheit.

Chop tough ends of stems off of mushrooms. Break off stems of mushrooms. Chop remaining pieces of stems into tiny tiny pieces.

Over medium-high heat, heat oil in a large skillet. Add chopped mushroom stems. Frizzle them up until stems are dry and cooked add minced garlic. Cool.

Stir in cream cheese, Parmesan cheese, black pepper, salt and cayenne. The resulting glop should be very thick.

Using either a filled baggie with a corner cut off or a tiny spoon, fill each mushroom cap with as much stuffing as it can take. Line up the stuffed mushroom caps on a cookie sheet lined with a Silpat, parchment paper or a light oil layer.

Bake the mushrooms for 20 minutes, or until the mushrooms are hot and start to get a little liquidy.

Jelly Cream Cheese Dip

Ingredients
1 package cream cheese, room temperature
1 jar peach or cherry jam
1/4 cup tiny sliced green onions (on the diagonal)
Your choice of cheap crackers

Directions
Find a mold. It can be a coffee cup, a tiny brioche pan or even just a cereal bowl. Line the mold with plastic wrap. Press the cream cheese into the plastic-lined mold.

Unmold onto a chilled plate. (Aren’t chilled plates fancy? And lo, no cost to you!) Pour the jam over the unmolded cream cheese and sprinkle with the green onions.

Serve with your fave crackers.
(I’m particularly fond of the Ritz, but I know those can be, er, ritzy.)