10 November, 2010  |   5 Comments

The Royal We

I am the dog in that universe.In my ongoing struggle with all things time related, I have had to come up with a coping mechanism for regret.

Does that sentence make sense?
Let me try again.

Since I’ve given birth,
I am fighting time

Time and I, well, we’re not getting along right now.
I fight time from the second my feet hit the floor to the time my head hits the pillow.
I fight time in my sleep.
Time and I, well, it’s complicated.
(A trial separation from time? That sounds nice.)

I just have so many things I want to do in this life.
And the reality of DMV visits, eye care, grocery shopping and well, work,
leaves me prone to nostalgia about choices I could have made.

As do yours, my days fly by in a state of fuzzy almost-completion.

And this rush of
of
of WHAT
of HOW THE HELL
of I FORGOT
leaves me feeling
chock-full
o’regret.

So to rally my thoughts around the task at hand, I’ve used a technique inspired from an interpretation of quantum physics.
The Multiverse.
(This episode of RadioLab (about The (Multi) Universe(s)) explains the Multiverse theory in more detail.)

Thinking about the Multiverse makes me mellow, it makes me chill out, it makes me not take this rush of time so damn seriously.

I use it for my own relaxation.

It’s the, “In another universe, Helen Jane is totally doing that thing,” technique.
It’s the, “In another universe, Helen Jane made that choice,” technique.
It’s the, “In another universe, Helen Jane is actually a paramecium and cannot be bothered with the vagaries of paying for child care,” technique.

In another universe, Helen Jane became a successful OBGYN.
(What? You didn’t know I harbored regret about not following my passion for science and healthcare?)

In another universe, Helen Jane didn’t wreck that friendship so spectacularly.
(It’s nice to think that maybe I was more thoughtful and compassionate that time, in that other universe.)

In another universe, Helen Jane has sent out those wine book and posted those wine answers.
(I swear, I’m getting to it this week, dude, just dude, I’m so sorry.)

So, there you have it, another thing I do that makes this wonderful,
complicated,
quick-speeding
life
a little more chill.

Your other universe self totally did it differently and it turned out awesome for her.
So relax! It’s taken care of.


5 thoughts on “The Royal We

  1. 1
    Charlie says:

    Oh, do I feel you.

    In my alternate universe, in addition to getting everything done, I also eat right and excercise!

  2. 2
    Genevieve says:

    I think I’ll try this, although I might wait til after my last exams. “In another universe, Genevieve wins at that exam,” probably isn’t going to get me that degree.
    Love your blog.

  3. 3
    Paul says:

    I totally understand how you feel! Here’s hoping that “dude” leaves you alone. In another universe, I’m sure he’s being patient!

  4. 4
    Helen Jane says:

    Bwah ha! Paul, you’re not even the dude I was referring to! En Route! I promise!
    (It was the Royal “Dude”)

  5. 5
    May says:

    Are you in my head? Because just this morning I was feeling a planet of regret about a wrecked friendship and other mishaps. I think you are in California and I am in Wisconsin but I am hearing you loud and clear.

Hooray for replies!