Oh, the internet, with all its inclusiveness and everyone has the same voiceness. Oh, internet, you sure do know how to make a girl feel shunned.
Photos of people you THOUGHT were your FRIENDS getting TOGETHER WITHOUT YOU?
They didn’t even think to invite you.
But I read their blogs!
I email them!
I met them at conferences!
How could they LEAVE ME OUT LIKE THAT?
And to rub salt into the wound, they’re posting photos of their good time.
Used to be, you could have a discrete get-together or a small party and the folks that weren’t invited never had to know.
With the internet and accompanying smartphones, photos of every event make their way to Facebook or Flickr or a blog somewhere and sometimes it seems the only purpose was to make me feel left out.
Yep, we’re not ready for this.
Psychologically, we’re not ready for this.
Never before in human history did we have so many parties we were NOT invited to thrown in our faces.
Some people probably are emotionally evolved enough. Barack Obama, maybe, or Tony Robbins. They seem like the kind of people that when not invited to a get-together, they shrug their shoulders and move on.
And here’s the real pickle, as a person who loves to entertain, I realize that one of the top three ingredients of a great party is the guest list.
And a well-edited guest list can make sure that a good time is had by all the attendees. Inviting everyone isn’t always the best strategy for every event.
So how do I marry my belief that not everyone can be invited to every party with the ripped-out feeling in my heart when I’m not included?
First, I have to notice what exactly is making me feel bad.
Not being invited to something can fire up feelings of anger, jealousy and mean in a way that isn’t always apparent WHY I hate these people.
It’s easy to start attacking the folks or just actively not liking them because you didn’t pay attention to where that hurt feeling came from.
So noticing, “Oh, hey, I’m hurt because they didn’t invite me,” is a huge first step to healing from the hurt.
That’s a big one.
Then I take a big breath and evaluate the actual situation even more closely, asking myself more questions.
Do I really even want to be on the guest list?
It’s easy to feel bad about not being included, but if I didn’t even really want to go in the first place, am I really missing out? I need to check my gut to make sure that I even care about going.
Is it a professional-type event?
Am I not invited to this brand-sponsored party for these particular kinds of bloggers? Am I hurt because of that? If so, what do I need to do to get invited to the next one? Do I need to get on that particular PR person’s list? Is there someone who went that I can ask about how they got invited?
What were the circumstances behind this get-together?
Is it friends that just happened to run into each other? Am I