I shall host a pain contest.
THE CONTEST OF PAIN,
And for $30 or $66 or some such fee,
we write the worst
the worst that has happened to us
And the most painful story wins,
wins all of the money.
(They also win grace, absolution and healing.)
I suppose the marketers would want to sponsor the happy contest.
THE CONTEST OF HAPPY,
The happiest story wins.
But in this contest,
the winner pays the others
$30 or $66 or some such fee.
Because you don’t always get
what you pay for
but you always pay for what you get.