I thought my one word story for 2011 was erosion.
I thought I eroded last year.
Except I didn’t.
All the interesting and sharp and witty and fun and sexy parts of me felt worn away.
I settled into
[bad] a boring old mom,
[worse] a blogger,
[awful] a liability,
[terrifying] only needed by my friends and family for what I could do for them.
I felt that way most of the year, a year through which I felt the continual lap lapping away at who I was before (fun! interesting! creative!) until I became (quite literally!) oval.
But that’s not really the story.
Look closer and my 2011 story was about sharpening points,
and being a little more unlikeable
because I cannot be all things to everyone in all ways always.
This is what happens in one’s mid-thirties.
This is what being a parent looks like.
This is how work gets done.
We say, “This is what I am not.”
2012 will be pokier. Promise.
Awesome date nights, sitter fell ill, lost date nights.
Part-time work, full time Dad. Full-time work, part-time Mom.
Navigating the treacherous 10 year mark in our marriage. Successfully, I believe.
Potty training, exorbitant day care bills, bike riding, toy marketing victims, Dottie’s seizure, time outs, birthday parties, Christmas, waking tangled with little girl limbs and almond milk breath. The girls define us now. We are us.
Launch HJEntertains.com, try it out, pause HJEntertains.com, figure out my voice and what this blog is about and what I want this to be and who I am and what the hell? Let’s bring back Poetry Friday.
Cheesewhizzes, weekly bocce, a progressive feast, dead celebrity party, huge community rummage sales, lobster feed, crab feed, a huge bocce chili cookoff, May day baskets, dinner parties, porch parties, Dottie’s birthday party, Nora Lea’s birthday party, a significant Thanksgiving, A holiday cocktail party for the ages, Christmas dinner, decide that hangovers are only worth it if there is child care the next day. Quit drinking for a while. It suits me.
Wrote for Serious Eats, American Express OPEN Forum, Intel’s MyLifeScoop and Style United. Stressed more about work this year than ever — dwindling opportunities and skills were buoyed by this opportunity to support this blogging thing that’s come farther than I ever thought it would. Shutter Maplevine after 5 successful years to enjoy the fruits of full-time employment. I love my job so gosh darn hard, you have absolutely no idea. Yes, I have a 2 hour commute and yes, it’s worth every last drop of it.
That sure doesn’t look like erosion.
(Even though it felt like it.)
2012. All about the story.
Even though we’re all a part of the same thing, you are me, I am you, dog is me, we are dog, God is dog, The story keeps us separate.
The story is it.
The story is what I can leave.
And I want to leave a good one.
I want to tell better stories.
Pricklier and pokier stories.
Stories I want my girls to know.
Stories that might help you get over that hump.
Thanks 2011 for the perceived eroding but actual sharpening.
I appreciate it.
Let’s get sharp.