My herb garden. Man. It’s a failure.
I am keeping alive two toddlers, a husband and a dog.
I’m barely keeping myself alive.
The springtime optimism that takes over my fingers and brain makes me believe that this year, surely I will grow my own herbs.
I need to do my herb garden over.
The pots are dried out, the leaves yellow, the stalks, desiccated.
I have tons of excuses.
A combination of travel, schedule and dry dry weather has undermined my low priority for gardening. Also, there are just so many other more fun things to do — other than watering plants.
And of course, this isn’t just about my herb garden.
The same thing is going on with work, with friends, with family.
Stuff’s withering, drying out, going unattended.
In short, I’m failing.
I fail a lot, you know. I’m good at failing.
I’m late, I flake, I overestimate my contribution, I underestimate the time it will take to complete a job. I fail.
And where I’ve failed with my herb garden, is yet one more opportunity for me to descend that spiral staircase of shame. My herb garden is yet one more effort I can’t get right. But some experience has shown me that when I take that sinking spirally feeling and bend it upward, I’m ready to try, try again. As a failing person, I learn a lot.
And so here’s my strategy for dealing with all of my failures, professional, personal or gardening related.
Forgive my best intentions
I’m not a rotten person because I wanted to feed my family fresh herbs this summer. Got that? My best intentions were there — I really, truly meant to. Just because I had some trouble keeping these plants alive doesn’t mean I’m an awful person.
It just might mean that I’m busy or tired.
And that’s forgivable.
Learn my limitations
Time. Time, my teeth-grinding nemesis.
At this point in my life, time is not abundant for personal hobbies. That’s okay, it just means that when I plan my next herb garden, I pick one that can survive dry conditions, or those that grow quickly.
Nope, despite my will, I do not need to plan The Best And Most Complicated Herb Garden EVER. I just need to try with one or two plants. Maybe I could pot seedlings instead of seeds. Maybe I could enlist the kids to help me water. Better do-overs scale back.
Try, try again
All of this said, I have to try again. Herb garden do-over. I am getting ready to bounce back, learn from my failure and face the terrifying prospect of failure happening again.
They look so innocent.
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