15 April, 2013  |   9 Comments

My three wishes.

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Amy asked what my 3 wishes would be.

I answered glibly, the ability to take alone time that wasn’t at anyone else’s inconvenience. It’s why I’ve gotten fat and puffy. It’s why my eye has twitched for 3 straight weeks and why those complaints aren’t a form of bragging about my perceived importance, God knows I’m a speck on a butt on a speck. So are you. It’s cool. We’re wee.

But I wanted to think about it.
What are my 3 wishes?

I know enough about my world to know that wishes come true. They almost always come true. Wishes are seeds, they’re planted and they grow and they always happen, they just don’t happen on our timeline.

And more than anything, my wish number one is to be able to Heal. We are all so, so broken. Life is broken. It’s sad and it sucks and it’s filled with loss and pain. Even if my life seems perfect. I am in pain. And if I could have one wish, it would be to lessen that pain in other people.

Boil that pain down to gelatin. Heal those bones. Heal that shame, the broken souls, bodies, ideas, projects, let me fix that for you. Let me heal you.

Wish number 1.
Let me fix that broken broken. Let me heal.

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My second wish would be for resources. To not worry about them. For me or for anyone else. The struggle for resources is capital H Human. I see that now. Even when we have everything, we’re struggling for resources. And I want to struggle less. \

I’m okay with my wish coming true by me realizing i have everything I need. I’m okay with that too.

Wish number 2.
Realized resources.

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My third wish is the same as I replied. To have alone time without inconveniencing anyone. To be able to exercise, feed myself well, enjoy entertainment, enjoy meals, enjoy enjoy, enjoy, heal myself, take the time back into my life. To be able to do those things without putting out James, my family, my kids, my friends, to be able to take care of myself without putting someone else in a worse position — I wish for that. And just like with wish 2, if my wish comes true by realizing that everyone will always need, no matter my involvement, I’m cool with that too.

Wish number 3.
Alone time, without inconvenience.

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These are all variations on wish one, aren’t they? The drive to heal. To make right what isn’t right. For me, for you, for the broken sweaty humans and creatures animated with the electricity of life, to make it better.

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9 thoughts on “My three wishes.

  1. 1
    Jen says:

    This is very beautiful. I really hope all your wishes come true. I agree that they all do in their own time.

  2. 2
    Lori Haislip says:

    After yesterday’s events in Boston, your #1 wish would really come in handy. We are a broken world!

  3. 3
    Lori Haislip says:

    P.S. I make your minestrone regularly and adore it. The end.

  4. 4
    Nicole Oliver says:

    So beautiful. You have a gift for that, creating beauty. Thank you.

  5. 5
    ats says:

    I love you so much.

  6. 6
    Jamie says:

    You know, I forget to wish. I forget that wishes always come true, eventually, on their own timeline. Thank you for reminding me. And best wishes. = )

  7. 7

    My wish? To read more of your beautiful words. Thank goodness for the Big Traveling Potluck, because it brought you into my field of vision. You are a wonderful thing. So glad to have found you.

    I love you wish. I’m going to add those words to my prayers.

  8. 8

    [...] such a public arena can sometimes feel lost, unsuccessful, and disliked.  This recent post titled “My Three Wishes” made me weepy.  “Let me fix the broken.  Let me heal.” Oh, Helen Jane, you are perfect.  But [...]

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