I guess I understand boomers now.
When I was in college, and those 40 somethings waxed on
about how music just isn’t the same anymore, man.
The spirit of music is just so hollow, man.
The zeitgeist doesn’t make sense anymore, man.
I couldn’t understand them, those Baby Boomers.
My response was always, like duh, things change.
Things curve towards my cute 20 year old body,
so get with the program, boomers.
And yet, here I am, paralyzed by the same thing on my internet.
I’m now a 40 something, waxing on,
about how the internet just isn’t the same, bruh.
We used to write truthful, charming updates about our lives, dude.
It was hella small and hella sweet, yo.
(BRB, taking a word shower.)
Here I am, saying, like duh, HJ, things change.
Things curve toward their cute 20 year old bodies,
so get with the program, culturally irrelevant lady.
And like I’ve found freedom in embracing my lumpy forty year old cultural irrelevancy, (LADIES, did you know it’s absolutely the best thing ever not to be catcalled anymore?) I find freedom in my internet old ladying.
So join me this month while I post my old-fashioned internet thoughts every day.
I’ll forget to post the share buttons and I’ll fail to properly promote my posts.
I’ll fumble the Snapchat and my images will be too big.
I’ll forget to apply all the best practices I use for my work to myself.
(And it’ll be a blast.)