There’ll be sad songs to make you cry
One of the feelings that squash collaboration is Jealousy. And there’s no better place to see jealousy run rampant than in personal publishing.
I talk about the crippling effects of online jealousy a lot because I think it’s something we all wrestle with.
I think the problem is far more insidious than any of us let on.
Like I said, we work in isolation on our egos — it’s nigh impossible to follow the trite advice to ‘keep your eyes on your own work.” It’s in our faces, under the guise of community and “just keeping up.”
It comes in sneaky ways that don’t immediately read as jealousy, and instead bubble up as irritation, hate reading, asking questions in your head like
Why wasn’t I invited?
Why do they hate me?
Who does she think she is?
It’s jumping to conclusions like
She/He thinks he’s too good for this.
They didn’t have it as hard as I did, that’s why they’re successful.
Hey! That was MY idea! He stole it!
It’s even worse when money and fame get into it. What else is the current monetized internet other than traffic numbers and competition for limited opportunities?
I’ve talked about this before, but I have been helped immensely by not assuming my jealousy as the end game. I use it as a tool – when I’m jealous of someone (and quite honestly, I’ve been jealous of most of the people in this room) I’ll make a jealousy map, where I write out Who, Why and Now What. It sounds too easy to work, but it quickly quells that downward spiral. I learned this from the great book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – a creativity course I do once a year to help me identify blocks and ruts in my creative processes.
This is embarrassing but I’m going to share 3 of the people I’m jealous of in the room and my jealousy map about them:
Did you know that Billy Ocean was never jealous? Never once. We have no recorded content of Billy Ocean being jealous of another artist. Do you care if that’s a lie? Does it matter?
|Joy the Baker||She works with Michael||Find my own supportive collaborators|
|Oh Sweet Basil||Younger, cuter||Work with younger and cuter people more – to discover why I’m thrilled to be as experienced in this medium as I am.|
|Two Peas and their Pod||Bigger Audience||Either grow my audience, or focus on a message I’m proud of. There’s a sweet spot there I can find for myself.|