In spring, I get a little goofy with happiness as three of my favorite foods come into season. Stocking up on asparagus, strawberries and fresh artichokes fills my heart with glee. (It’s the little things, isn’t it?)

Since my favorites haven’t quite yet hit the stores this season, I satisfy myself by making this cheesy, creamy perfection.

See, you need an artichoke dip recipe.
You need this for potlucks and book clubs and to impress your new beau.
You need this with corn chips or thinly-sliced, slightly crusty French bread.

But Helen Jane! I thought you were posting recipes from your meal planning this week.

Well, this recipe works because all the items can be found in your pantry. Canned, condimental (that’s a word), on hand, this is the kind of dip you can go to when there’s an event you haven’t planned for. Pop up dip!

No spinach or water chestnuts to mess up the creamy texture, this dip is all squishy smoothy comfort.

Helen Jane’s Trusty, Tasty Artichoke Dip Recipe

Ingredients
2 cans artichoke hearts, quartered
2 cups mayonnaise
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
2 small cloves garlic, minced
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 cup of grated Parmesan cheese to mix through
1/2 cup of grated Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on the top

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350°.

Drain and rinse the artichoke heart cans.
(What are we, animals?)

In a large bowl, fold together the artichokes, mayonnaise, garlic, Worcestershire, pepper and the Parmesan cheese.

Scrape the mix into a baking dish. I usually split the recipe between two, so that guests can scoop with minimal germing and maximum crusty cheesy topping.

Top with that other 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese.

Bake dip for 30 minutes, or until golden and bubbly.

After removing from the oven, sprinkle with parsley, serve with tortilla chips or French bread.

Now don’t get grabby, get giddy. You have the perfect artichoke dip recipe.

This post was sponsored by Frigidaire.
When you check out Suzanne Goin’s springtime recipes at www.maketimeforchange.com, Frigidaire will donate $11 to Save the Children’s U.S. programs.

Plus, you’ll be entered for a chance to win the new Frigidaire Range with Symmetry^{TM SM} Double Ovens2 – featuring two large ovens (that can each fit up to a 28 pound turkey!), providing the flexibility to cook multiple dishes at the same time at different temperatures, so you can get more on the table at the same time.

Saturday night we were lucky enough to host our regular Cheesewhizzes party at the gorgeous caves at Anderson’s Conn Valley Vineyards. This month’s cheese theme was soft and oozy and the cheeses did not fail to impress.

What I mean to say is that they’re impressive.
(You know what I mean.)

The softer and oozier the cheese, the more likely it’s stinky.
And we stunk up those caves, I’ll tell you what.

Epoisses, Andante Pianoforte, Goat’s Milk Brie, there is a whole lot of soft and oozy cheese coming into its own this time of year.
(Go get some.)

Special thanks to Joseph of GoVino, who generously provided glasses easy group wine tasting. I’m excited to use GoVinos for our upcoming holiday cocktail party — easy peasy non-breakable glassware.
(Plus, GoVinos make great snack catchers for the toddler set.)

My checklist o’Cheesewhizzes:
Spectacular wine? Check.
Styley glassware? Check.
Amazing cheese? Check.
Good people? Check.

See you at the next one.

How perfect would these melamine school trays be for self-serve plates for a potluck?

Make individual nibbling sections with different flavors of popcorn, spiced nuts or flavored potato chips. This super-modern stainless compartment tray makes me feel like I have more going on in the style department. And it could hold office supplies too.

Another thing these trays are good for are feeding those who will not allow different types of food to touch on the plate.

You know the type.

You may have a three year old who engages in that right now, perhaps you are one of the afflicted who cannot abide food touchings. I know non-food-touching-people is a thing because it seems to be the only similar trait in my exes.

Are you anti-food touching?
Or are you like me, a food combiner?

We loved mustard so much, we tried to make it.
Back when I lived in Washington DC, my roommate and I invested no small amount in powders and seeds and vinegars to mix the perfect mustard.

What we learned instead?
Mustard gas is really a thing.

Heating up the mixture released a smell so noxious, the entire apartment building evacuated. A more eye stinging mistake I never made.

Learn from my mistake, only make mustard if you’re really willing to read directions. There are lots of experts experting in mustard production. Let’s let them do their thing.

Bought off the shelf, mustard is the easiest dip.
(“Blllllbbbbbpt,” it says as it plops into the dish.)

One of the world’s cheapest condiments, you can have a glorious variety of gourmet mustards that cost much less than vinegar, oils or dressings. They’re perfect for pretzels and have a natural affinity for pork. And never forget the turkey sandwiches (as if you could).

Mustard As a side to pretzels

Brown mustard is my favorite dip for pretzel rods and pretzel crisps.
Soft pretzels (Freeze them so they’re on hand!) are another lovely mustard vehicle.

Mustard As a coating for a crumb crust

Mustard Crusted Pork Recipe

Ingredients
2 pork tenderloins about a pound each
Salt and pepper
3/4 cup Dijon mustard
3 cups dry breadcrumbs
3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 sprig of rosemary, leaves removed and minced.
2 tablespoons butter, melted
Aluminum foil.

Directions
Set oven to 400°. Sprinkle the tenderloins generously with salt and pepper.
Spread the mustard all over the tenderloins with clean fingers or a spatula.
Mix the dry breadcrumbs with fresh garlic, rosemary and butter in a small bowl.
Dredge the meat in the breadcrumb mixture to coat.

Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Place the tenderloins on the baking sheet.
Roast about 25 minutes or until golden. Using a thermometer? Get it to 140°, the tenderloins will keep cooking a little after you remove from the oven. Put the pork on a platter and let rest for 10 minutes. Slice and serve with mashed potatoes.

Squeezed on some meat

We have the 1904 St. Louis World’s fair to thank for the awesomeness of mustard on a hot dog. That’s when the yellow French’s mustard met the world. I love a hot dog with onions, sauerkraut and mustard. I think you do too.

Are you a mustard hater?
Now that I think of it, I don’t know any.
Will you be my first?

How long has it been since you had a good sloppy joe?
Ten years? Fifteen? Are you telling me you’ve NEVER HAD A GOOD SLOPPY JOE?
(liar)

Sloppy Joes are good for big groups, they’re semi-customizable and they have a surprisingly complex flavor.

Fire up your slow cooker, buy some processed, whitebread buns, American cheese and enjoy some Lay’s potato chips, utterly unironically.

Ingredients
1 pound ground beef
1/2 pound ground pork
(if you don’t feel like buying two meats, just buy 1.5 pounds of ground beef, life is hard enough as it is)
1 large onion, finely chopped
1 large red bell pepper, chopped fine
Couple, two three celery ribs, chopped fine
3 cloves garlic, minced
Two 6 ounce or one 12 ounce can of tomato paste
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon Worchestershire sauce
1/8 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
Hot sauce to taste
American cheese
Hamburger buns

Directions
Heat a large skillet to medium-high heat, squirt some oil in there too. Put the meat, onion, bell pepper and celery in that previously mentioned skillet.

When the meat is brown and the onions are see-through (seven, eight minutes?), slop it all into your slow cooker. Add the rest of the ingredients from garlic on down. Stir it until it looks like, well, sloppy joe mixture.

Cover and cook on low for as long as you’re going to need it.

If you’re cooking in a dutch oven or pan, preheat the oven to 300° F. Brown the meat like I told you before, add the rest of the ingredients and stick that ovenproof sloppy joe pan into the oven for three to four hours.

And I can’t stress this strongly enough:

This must be served with those thin, crisp potato chips and white buns. Whole wheat doesn’t work, Kaiser buns won’t work, I’m talking get-squished-behind-your-teeth white buns.

Same thing with potato chips. I’m as big a fan of Kettle Chips as the next guy, but they just don’t go with sloppy joes.

Dig? Good.

It’s great for bocce, great for a party and hasn’t been exploited by those more ironic than me. Make sloppy joes today and the world will be much, much better.