Thanks for your patience while I take care of some back end things that will most certainly screw up the front end.

XO,

HJ

Sadly, I fell off that whole Nablopomo-posting-every-day-wagon last week.

But when I look at it, I see a mother of a two month old who’s working from home and planning an event while organizing a bocce team and running a cheese-tasting club and participating in a cookbook club trying to update her web site every day.

When I look at it that way, I don’t feel so guilty.

The girl, she grows.
She smiles when she awakes.
That’s all I can wish for anyone, really.

Holy guacamole, those were some week-making well-wishes you sent me over the last few days. Thanks!

Up until this week, pregnancy has been very difficult for me. I woke up with pounding headaches, alternating between extreme nausea and knee-quaking hunger and have been crankier with the people I love than I would like to admit.

This disappoints me, as I always thought I’d be one of those shiny earth-mother types, for whom pregnancy is a breeze and growing a fetus means glowing and yoga and essential oils.

The funny thing is that after both reaching this point and sharing the news, my symptoms seem to have decreased.

I’m pleased to report that the morning sickness has mostly abated. And when I say morning sickness, I mean an all-afternoon nausea. I’m also pleased to report that the exxxtreme Dan Cortese-type sleeping, in which I slept 12 hours a night and enjoyed another 3 hour nap, has also eased.

I still seem to need 12 hours a night of sleep, but am not nodding off at my monitor.

Maybe that earth-mother lady still has a chance.
Om.

Three first trimesters in one year is hard enough for anyone.
Looking back at 2007, I have a hard time believing that was me.

Last Christmas was the first time we found out we were pregnant. We were so excited, so hopeful. But at the first doctor appointment, it was not to be. The miscarriage happened during what was to be a party trip to Las Vegas.

That time seems so surreal. I existed, I was so sad.
I took the time to feel awful, I grieved.

Memorial day, that was the second pregnancy. At the time, I had a new boss I irritated by being within 50 feet of him. This meant daily insinuation of HR meetings and an immediate and ominous “30 day review.”

Screw that.

I quit that job for July Fourth. My going away party included hemorrhaging. So while everyone congratulated me on my new endeavor, I doubled over with pain.

I drank too much that day.
I drank too much for the next many days.

But see, I had a new business I was starting!
New business! New business!
No time to mourn these petty losses!

Busybusybusy with new clients and new work and an exciting future!
Let’s put this behind me! Onward!
New business!

Except see, that two miscarriages in one year don