I’m quite sure there’s nothing more boring than listening to someone go on and on about how sick they are. But there I am.

Go wash your hands,
drink your water and
avoid snot-nosed toddlers because
I have not been flat dead sick for six days straight in a decade.
(It’s every bit as awful as I remembered.)

I guess the good news is that I’m off anything illegal,
dairy, wheat and booze,
because it just all sounds gross.

Oranges and kale juice? Sign me up!
(Thank you influenza for that charming legacy.)

The worst part of this flu was not the coughing, congestion, headaches, fever, intestinal distress, full body rash or crusty eyes, no, it was the inability to multitask.
Hell, the inability to task.

See, I don’t really sit still at home, my fingers are always moving. My eyes, reading, my ears, listening.

I stuff envelopes while listening to an audio book and reviewing blog posts.
I type emails while watching television and evaluating podcasts.
I constantly consume and produce.

And this week, I have been able to neither consume nor produce.

I have just stayed in one place,
not even staring at anything,
just being sick.

My responsible Midwestern work ethic shrieks,
YOU ARE SO NOT WORKING ON ANYTHING RIGHT NOW!

I tried to silence it.
(I’m trying to get better, Midwestern work ethic, hush, you.)
But still, it hollers.

So I’m getting back to you.
Tomorrow.
When I’m better.
Because damnit, I’ll be better by tomorrow.
I have to be.

P.S. Mom update: Last night, her blood pressure spiked, she felt like she was having another stroke, there was another emergency room visit. Alls well by today, but damn, as a fellow sufferer of super-high blood pressure, it freaks me out a little. I thought this was over already. Thanks so much for your good vibes. They mean the world to us.