23 January, 2015  |   1 Comment

Poetry Friday: Biological Imperative

I can’t help it.

Late at night, after the men fall asleep, after they pass out, because, hell, we were all drinking, my defenses are down.

I give in to my biological urge to feed.

I can’t help it.

Late at night, after the men fall asleep, after they pass out, because, hell, I’m a woman, I am driven by my God Given Urge.

I can’t help it.

Late at night, after the men, pass out really, they shouldn’t have been drinking so much for them to fall asleep so soundly like that, because, hell, I’m a human animal.

I can’t help it.

Late at night, after the men pass out, because it’s their own stupid fault, I pull out my scoop. I carefully pour a cup of dry rice in their open, gaping mouths.

I can’t help it.

They don’t like it. Sometimes they wake up and fight.
But I hold them down until I’m done.
I just need to feed them.
Just let me put this rice in your mouth.
It’s my biological imperative.


21 January, 2015  |   1 Comment

Wine Wednesday: My Favorite Corkscrew

Guy Genie in a bottle

Maybe I’m INSANE.

Or, I just found my favorite corkscrew.

I have used a lot of corkscrews in my day. And now, in my 10th year in the wine industry, I can solidly recommend my favorite.

My Guy Fieri Cruisin’ Waiters Corkscrew is the best damn corkscrew I’ve ever used. It’s the perfect weight for my hands, it’s great quality, the knife stays sharp and all the parts work exactly as they should.

Guy Fieri's corkscrew is my favorite.The bright yellow color means I find it easily in the utensil drawer.
The source means it’s always good for a Guy Fieri story. And everyone has a good Guy Fieri story.
The name, “CRUISIN’ WAITERS” elicits a feeling that’s both dirty and efficient.

Thank you Guy. Your corkscrew is THE REAL DEAL INDEED.


P.S. I bought this corkscrew at a Walgreens with my own money.



20 January, 2015  |   Comment

Linking Log

Stroller Party USA

Happy Tuesday!
Here are five links that kept me scrolling this week.

Top Five Digital Media Launch Mistakes
ust because you have a proprietary CMS doesn’t mean you’ve done it. Love this breakdown of some pitfalls of the current publishing model.

Mater Mea
Mater Mea is chock full of mothers of color sharing life philosophies> It’s positive. It’s artistic. Every day I learn something more from Anthonia’s powerful point of view.

Choosing Red Wine for your Wedding
Did you know I write for the Monogamy Wines wedding blog?
(Now you do.)

“Your life wants to kill you. Get lonely and let it. What’s the worst that could happen?”

20 Detox Salads to Get You Back on Track
I’m starting to get bored with salads. And it’s only been two weeks.
Foodie Crush knows what I’m in the mood for before I’m in the mood for it with these gorgeous salads. Plus, those images!

19 January, 2015  |   1 Comment

Meal Plan Monday

Prediction: This week will overflow with loving words. #mealplan

Last night, you’ll see we had roast chicken. Sunday’s roast spiced chicken was flavored with a mix of 1/4 cup ghee, 1 tablespoon seasoning salt, 1/4 tsp cayenne, 1 tsp rubbed sage and garlic rubbed under the skin. Since I am Whole 30-ing it this month, I like to frontload the week with foods I can eat for lunch. Last night’s chicken leftovers will go in Monday’s lunch.

Sunday, January 18
On Sunday, I also made Wednesday’s butternut squash soup. The flavors just get better over time. Sunday night I also cut the beef and carrots for Monday’s pot roast.

Tuesday, January 20
Tuesday is taco night. Due to what’s in the fridge, I’ve already changed the taco meat from pork carnitas to old fashioned ground beef tacos. My picky family goes loco over ground beef tacos. I use Penzey’s Taco Seasoning. Ha! Now you can too! Taco night leftovers also do well in breakfast burritos or taco bowls the next day.

Tuesday night I’ll also make the spaghetti and meat sauce for Thursday’s dinner. I doubled up on meal prep on Sunday and Tuesday — one of those things that don’t take as much effort as it looks in writing — just requires a little preplanning!

Wednesday and Thursday, January 21 and 22
I have late night meetings on both Wednesday and Thursday, so I’ll make sure at least half the meal is pre-made. Poor James has things hard enough, juggling tap and drama and ballet and a full time job and people.

Friday, January 23
We’re extending the fun of James’ birthday for another 40th birthday dinner with our friends. We’re really excited about this one.

Saturday, January 24
Wrap the whole week up with a Helpie Selfie. We’ll have a leftover party just in time for next week’s meal plan.
(You know how that is.)

9 January, 2015  |   4 Comments

Pantry Unmessening

Apartment Therapy is featuring their January Cure. And since the Whole 30 wasn’t enough January obnoxiousness, I’m now dragging my home into it.

Wednesday’s task?
Clean and organize my pantry.

Ready to judge me?
Especially about that jug o’Crisco?


Judge away! This is my pantry, before.

I found 3 boxes of cake-cup ice cream cones, three (THREE?) bags of oyster crackers and had to come to terms with the fact that I’m a person who has 6 different kinds of salt.
(The judging comes full circle.)


Angels sing after my pantry gets the treatment

Dry food storage in American kitchens can be way too spacious, way too dark and way too sticky. Mine is all three.

Three things I learned from cleaning my pantry this week

1. Wait until I’m in the mood to toss.
If I’m in a mood where I’m feeling scrimpy or under-resourced, I will spend all my time consolidating Turmeric jars. Today I was in the mood to toss and my kitchen thanks me for it.

2. Organize for the person I am, not the person I want to be.
My pantry needs to have snacks at kid level. I need to be able to grab a bay leaf without looking and everything I put in a mason jar just for looks will go bad. I also love Penzeys Spices more than the average bear.

3. Forgive myself and do better
I feel pretty terrible about the entire garbage bag of wasted, expired, stale food I threw out. I can do better. I will do better.

The more I live, the more I know what works for me. I’m thrilled to have a program to follow – just as long as I don’t read the comments.
(Never read the comments.)

Play along! I want to see (judge) your pantry too!

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