Tag Archives: helen jane

29 June 2008 14 Comments

Nope, no baby yet.

Fires are smokey

Our five year anniversary was gentle and slow.
We saw Wanted.
We ate dinner at La Toque.

I really wanted Wanted to be better than it was.
Wanted Wanted.
(I think that was the theme of the day.)

Hard to pay attention with crushing contractions every five minutes.
Left the theater and went out to the bench outside to breathe.
The manager looked alarmed.
I was thrilled.

After the movie, James and I decided to continue on to our dinner.
Dinner was very fancy.
I supped excitedly through contractions.
My favorite dish was the scallop with squid ink tapioca.
I liked the sausage-stuffed Morels as well.

The contractions continued and got fiercer.

After we got home, we called the doula. We did this in between me gripping the table and breathing and gripping the couch and breathing and working very hard to get to the bed and breathing and then gripping the couch again. Anna the doula told me to drink a glass of wine and wait for the pains to become a little more regular.

I packed my bag.
I drank that glass of wine she recommended.
I became mighty loopy.
You could say I was wasted.

And I fell asleep immediately.
And woke up at eight the next morning.
Not to have another contraction again.

Sigh.

Highly satisfactory wedding anniversary none the less. We love each other even more than we did five years earlier. Marrying James was the best thing I have done so far in my life.

Two weekends ago, James and I cleaned out the garage.
I found several Rubbermaid containers filled with journals from my twenties.
They were so sad. I was so sad.
I threw them away.
It felt really good to clean that out — the sadness, the job search, the real frustration at dating and work and my body.
(Plus, I’d rather keep helenjane.com as my life record.)

It made me realize how it changed right before I met James.
That year, life started to turn around, and just like that, he arrived.
My love, my love, my love.

I hope that you get that love in your life.
I want that for you more than anything.

(Except to give birth to this baby, I might want that a little bit more.)

3 March 2008 2 Comments

It's been

Got a haircut on Friday.
It’s shorter than I’m used to, but it’s still awesome.
If I was showered now, I’d take a photo, but since it’s been a few, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

Seriously, here’s a drawing of how it looks now:

See? I told you it looked bad.
Wait until I have a chance to even out my complexion, and then I’ll send a photo.

Jen and I bummed around downtown on Saturday.
She bought me a sushi play set made of wood.
My favorite part is the wooden chunk of wasabi.

Been really busy working, prepping for South by Southwest and eating one Chocolate/Chocolate ice cream bar every night.
Been really busy catching up.
Been really busy sleeping.

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about you.

25 February 2008 5 Comments

Oh Poo

Doctor: Have you felt the baby move yet?

Me: I think so, I’m not sure.

Doctor: Describe what it feels like.

Me: It feels mostly like a dancing turd.

Doctor: … Or like a butterfly.

25 January 2008 5 Comments

Like school in the summertime

monsterrobot.gif

One of my secret goals for this year was to work on more art.
See, I used to make lots of art.

But when you make art-like things for commerce, all thoughts turn to
“I really should be spending my time making art-like things for commerce.”

Not, “let’s make some art!”

So this year I’m turning to external sources of motivation for artmaking. I’m taking a printmaking class at the local community college. Ten weeks of studio space. A $25 materials fee. Six hours every Wednesday. Wow.

My first class was Wednesday.

Eight ladies in the class. Five are over seventy.
Although all seem to land on the Cranky side of the Cranky/Wise older lady continuum, they’re filled with great ladyknowledge and a willingness to learn.

And that’s good enough for me.
(And I like having the instructor repeat everything she said, A LITTLE LOUDER, PLEASE.)

I made a foam print of a monster and a robot. It was as easy as carving a shape into a piece of foam like the trays that chicken breasts come in. Voila! Art!

How silly of me to forget.