21 March 2011 Comment

Party People: Rick Webb

Rick Webb is an internet legend. (Trust me, I know my legends. He’s up there.)

He’s co-founder of the barbarian group, the kind of interactive agency that makes magic out of the internet. (Literally! With cloaks and wands and code and stuff!)

I attended their party at SXSW last week, only to find myself behind Michael Cera and his backpack when ordering a drink. I say this to demonstrate the kind of party Rick can throw.

Enjoy!

What’s your favorite song to turn up loud and dance to at the end of the night?

New Order. Once things get going, you can play five New Order songs in a row, and the only people who notice will be PSYCHED. Mix it up through the years. Play Temptatio, then maybe Round and Round or Fine Time, then Blue Monday then Bizarre Love Triangle. It’s kind of crazy. Plus, everyone likes dancing to New Order whether they know it or not.

When I’m ready to kick everyone out, I usually play Tom Waits and Crystal Gayle’s “One from the Heart.” It sorta makes everyone feel depressed, but happy, and has an undeniable “closing time, lets sweep the floors” feeling.

Tell me about the most memorable party you’ve thrown.

I’ve thrown some great parties in clubs and bars – my company’s annual anniversary party is something like 500 people now, and my thirtieth birthday filled a club in Boston. But those are a different beast.

But home, my most remarkable party was probably back in 1999 or so. My house was just down the street from a popular night club in Boston, called The Paradise. We had a lot of afterparties there, and over time, like any regular party does, it started drawing more and more people you weren’t quite sure if you knew or not.

At the peak, the parties had a bevvy of shirtless men dancing on tabletops, random makeout sessions everywhere, and Star Wars showing on perhaps three different screens. Oh, man, thinking of it now, that sounds awful. The party was most memorable, however, because it actually spawned a pop song, by the band Freezepop, who sung about the party in detail, including the traumatic theft of a jar of Bedhead from the bathroom.

I take great pride in having a party immortalized in song:

One night he went out dancing
much too soon the night was done
so he asked some people over
they could keep on having fun
he said it’s cool, invite some friends
a lot of people soon stopped by
the house was filled with strangers
he let everyone inside
then things got a little crazy
a few more hours quickly passed
slowly people started leaving
he was up until the last
standing in his living room
he surveyed all the mess
he gave up and went to bed
declared his party a success
getting ready the next morning
went to put some product in his hair
reached over to the bathroom shelf
but the bedhead wasn’t there
he looked under the sink
blinked his eyes in disbelief
the bedhead was really gone
someone at the party was a thief
bedhead is expensive
that was a shitty thing to do
don’t drink someone’s elses beer
and then swipe their belongings too
i wrote a song about stealing bikes
you know it’s not entirely true
theft’s a lot less awesome
when it’s happening to you

Do you have a signature drink or party snack? Mind sharing the ingredients?

It’s evolved through the years. There was a period we made many custom drinks. There was “Blood,” which was Jagermeister and Coke. Then there was the “Manergizer”, which I believe was Jagermeister and Red Bull. The “merlotini” was merlot and vodka, and the “grape diet coke” which was white zinfandel and diet coke. We were also fond of “old smuge,” which was Smuggler’s Notch budget whiskey. It was usually consumed with diet coke.

Then for years it was Champagne. We threw a champagne tasting party that went through about 50 champagnes and came out with Nicolas Feuillatte as the affordable winner and Bollinger as the premium champagne winner. That stuck around for years.

These days, I prefer Fernet (a throwover from my SF days), or dry red wine.

Give me one word to sum up your hosting style.

I believe a great party is all in setup. Once the party’s going, you’re much more limited in changing things if they go wrong. A few of the things I’ve learned are vital:

- buy twice as much booze as you think you need. Buy some mixers, but don’t sweat it. If guests text and ask if they need anything, tell them to bring more mixers.

- buy twice as many plastic cups as you think you need. They always run out.

- Don’t worry too much about food – unless you want your guests to stay at your house till sunrise. Food is actually the mechanism for ending a party. The more food, the longer they stay. If you’re having a great time and want people to stay, order some pizza’s later. Consider it your “get out of jail free” card.”

- Introduce each person as they walk in the door to as many people as practically possible. Ask them the most pressing thing you’re curious about right away, because you might not get a chance to talk to them again until you’re all sloshed.

- consider flow – if your kitchen is not conducive to circular flow, put the booze in the living room.

- give up on no shoes, if you’re house is no shoes, and just plan on or arrange for mopping the next morning.

- hide the volume knob. Only move into dance mood if people are already sort of swaying. You can’t force a dance party on people.

- be considerate of your neighbors – invite them, warn them, or live where there aren’t any.

What’s your least favorite part of hosting? How do you deal?

My two least favorite parties actually have the same solution. I hate cleaning up after, and I hate the first 40 minutes when you’re alone or worried that no one will come. Both are mitigated by having a party at the same time you have a house guest, which also makes for a handy excuse to have a party.

What was your biggest party mistake? What did you learn from it?

Virtually everything bad that’s ever happened at a party has stemmed from inviting people while drunk at a bar, or making the invitation public. If a party guest doesn’t have a friend responsible for them, they’re a liability. You can tell your friends to bring friends, because then the friend will be responsible for them. But if you drunkenly invite ten people from a bar, no one wins.

What’s the most important party ingredient?

The people! always invite new people to keep everyone curious.

What’s the last thing you celebrated? How?

At my house, my last party was a going away party for a friend. This is actually great, because you a) only have to invite a subset of your friends (useful if you have more friends than house space) and b) you meet all the other friends of your friend.

Everyone wins!

Thanks Rick, you’re amazing.

28 March 2009 5 Comments

SXSW Thoughts

So in the comments I was asked what was different about SXSW this year.
Why did I come back from it so different?
Why did I have an entirely changed outlook on my business, my priorities, my brain?

It may have been the fact that James wasn’t there and I was able to choose without consulting someone else.

It may have been my first trip anywhere alone since the baby was born.

It may have been the panels I saw. I enjoyed the panel from Behance thoroughly. Their lovely little Action Method has lots of sound project management tips. And although I shifted in my seat, Zeldman’s panel had me pumping my fist in the air, saying, “MY WORK IS WORTH MORE.”

And although I originally went to the panel called Quitter to support internet friends and heroes Freitas, Mason, Sacca and Mayes, I learned from Chris to define success for myself.

“Ask yourself what success is to you.”

Right up until this trip, I worked every awake minute, taking every job that crossed my path.
I worked endlessly, billing hours at all hours of the day and night, continually falling apart.
I completed tasks way outside the scope, allowing project scope creep to take time from my daughter, my husband and my sanity.

Thanks to that simple direction, I have a more realistic framework for what I want.

And since quality of daughter-time factors into my definition of success, it is important to work that into my plan.

Same with
money
house
love
time alone and
free time.

I’ve turned down three projects this week. There are people I really, really want to help out, but quite frankly, helping them gets me no closer to my goals. All it does is get my time to them indebted, in a way that just pisses them off, pisses ME off. This helpfulness gets me no closer to what’s really important to me. I’ve angered more people in the past three years by undercharging and over promising than even I’m aware of.

So instead, I’m saying
No.
I’m saying
I’m full up until June.
Because
1. I am.
2. It’s time.

What? This seems like such an easy decision to make. But I’ve really struggled with just wanting to help my friends out. I mean, they need a web site, right? They could use email newsletter design, a presence on Facebook, a logo, a…

That’s exactly it.
It never ends.
There’s always something else I could do for you.
But online, it’s never a second. It’s always.
And now it’s “Not until June.”

I’m finally valuing my time.
It feels great.
It’s entirely different over here.

20 March 2009 3 Comments

Grace in Small Things 62

1. My dear, dear Ye Olde Internet Friend Aubrey.
2. James returns tonight. We haven’t been away from each other this long since we were dating. (All five minutes that we dated.)
3. When Nora Lea claps her hands and giggles.
4. Making time to focus on my own projects.
5. Four days in Austin that have transformed me. Seriously, I’m different now.

11 March 2008 1 Comment

Day Five

Update:
Still at SXSW in Austin, Texas. Tonight’s our last night. I seem to have picked up all the same ailments of hoarseness, cough and fatigue I have during the previous years when I drank copious amounts of alcohol. I danced just as much, I talked just as much and I hugged only slightly less.

Learning:
It’s the people, silly, not the booze.

Update:
Speaking of the people, I am saddened to report that I didn’t meet many new folks. The conference has gotten so big and impressive, I stuck to the folks I’d met in years past. This is a new turn for me at this conference, and I hope that I don’t do this again.

Learning:
Billy Bob Thornton’s skin is much nicer in person than it is on television.

Update:
My belly is compact, hard, tight and high. I feel kicks and movements, and have become much less nimble over the past five days. Still, it’s hard to tell there’s a baby in there from the outside, especially when I wear black. The fetus loves it when people touch it, so who am I to argue? Touch my belly, yo.

Learning:
I have heretofore been very lucky with the relationship between fetal development and my body.

Update:
James has the camera, thus images from this trip won’t get uploaded for a few days.

Learning:
I need to carry around my own image taking device, it just doesn’t work at events like these to share.

Update:
Life had been divided into “I’ll handle it before SXSW” and “I’ll handle it after.” This week has helped me to prioritize what actually will be handled after. I’m preparing to do some major slashing of work, relationships and goals that don’t get me closer to what I really want. That’s scary, but also liberating.

Learning:
Pruning is just as important for growth as fertilizer.

6 March 2008 5 Comments

Fierce housesitting men

Yes, James and I are headed to SXSW, our annual geek summer camp, where we frolic and romp with our internet friends. This year I won’t have my old social lubricant, to free up the social inhibitions, but I will have trusted pals around.
(And that’s somehow even more freeing.)

Plus, one of “my” wineries is throwing a party that I helped to engineer.
Want to rock the Bigg Digg Shindigg?
(I certainly thought you did. Also! I made that poster! Who’d a thunk?)

Other than that, life has been rolling out in front of this computer.
Life rolls out in the form of housework and chores and to do lists and tick marks. I don’t like it when my life feels painted in. That’s the state of things right now.

Yes, I understand I’m trying to put my head down and make way for baby, but there seems to be no room for wondering.
There is no room for wandering.
No room for ambling.

So this break is wonder-full for me.
Wonderful to see friends, to dream with a group, to let connections surprise me, to giggle as the universe shows me all the amazing gifts that technology can provide.

Hooray for grownups taking the time to marvel!

P.S. Have you been watching Download: The History of the Internet on Discovery Science? If you can, you should totally watch it. This show makes me so proud to have chased my dream to the West Coast, so happy to have loved the internet as much as I have.

Plus, is it true?
Did I live the dot-com dream and crash and eventual resurrection?
Have P2P networks only been around that short of time?
Did I really have crushes on all those developers over the years?

Oh man, I can’t wait to see you.